Still Showing Up: Motherhood, Uncertainty, and Making Room for Something Beautiful
I’ve been trying to figure out how to write an update that holds everything happening in my life right now. There are live shows to host, group photoshoots to plan, and creative ideas I’m excited to bring to life. There are also medical questions involving both of my children, and the kind of uncertainty that follows you into everything else you do.
The honest answer to “How are you?” is that I’m still kind of in shock.
I can talk about what’s coming up for Chimeric Creations. I can get excited about a concept, organize an event, and show up on a livestream. All of that is real. So is the part of me that’s apprehensive about what my kids are facing and struggling with something I cannot organize, create, or work my way out of.
The hardest part is knowing I cannot take their place.
Lorelai needs a spinal tap as part of her doctors’ evaluation for possible multiple sclerosis. It hasn’t been scheduled yet, and we’re both apprehensive. We’re waiting for that next step, with questions still unanswered.
What keeps hitting me is that I cannot do it for her. I can be there. I can support her. But I cannot be the one who goes through the procedure so she doesn’t have to. That is an incredibly difficult thing to sit with as her mother.
Then there’s Enzo. We went to the emergency room during what we thought was an asthma attack. They ran an EKG and found what we were told is a “partial left atrial branch block” in his heart. We’ll be seeing a cardiologist within the next two weeks to learn more.
For now, that’s where we are: waiting for specialist care and more information. I don’t have a neat explanation or a resolved story to share. I have another child who needs medical follow-up, and the same overwhelming wish to step in and handle it for him.
I can’t do his testing for him, either.
There is something deeply helpless about loving your children this much and still being unable to spare them these experiences. Being there matters. I know it does. But knowing that doesn’t switch off the part of me that wants to protect them from every frightening appointment and every unanswered question.
I’m sharing this because it’s part of what life looks like behind the pictures, the event announcements, and the shows. If I seem distracted, take longer to reply, or need a little more time to follow through on something, this is some of what I’m carrying.
Creative work has been a complicated comfort through all of it. It gives me something to focus on, people to connect with, and moments when I can be fully absorbed in something I enjoy. It helps keep me grounded. Sometimes it is also another responsibility when I’m already overwhelmed. All of those things can be true in the same week, or even on the same day.
I still want to create. I still want to laugh with people. I still have ideas that make me excited for what’s ahead. Making room for those things feels especially valuable right now.
That includes my live shows on MeetMe, where you’ll find me as Kafera Davida.
One More Clue is back to its regular season! It usually airs Tuesdays at 7 p.m. Eastern / 4 p.m. Pacific, but this week’s episode will be on Wednesday, September 30, at 7 p.m. Eastern / 4 p.m. Pacific. Please make a note of the switch if you usually join us on Tuesday.
I love having a space where we can get caught up in a game, wonder about an answer, and enjoy each other’s company. Right now, having people show up and spend that time with me would mean a lot. You don’t need a grand gesture. Coming into the stream and saying hello counts.
The Maker’s Table is also chugging along on Sundays at 8 p.m. Eastern / 5 p.m. Pacific. It’s my craft-circle space, where creativity and conversation get to share the table. There’s something comforting about spending time with people who understand the urge to make things—and the occasional tendency to acquire supplies with more enthusiasm than available storage.
Both shows give me opportunities to connect with people while continuing to do things I care about. I’m grateful for that, especially when so much else feels uncertain.
On the photography side, The Alchemy of Her calendars are still available for purchase! If you’ve been meaning to order one, there’s still time. Purchasing a calendar is another way to support my photography and bring a piece of my creative work into your home—or share it as a gift. Thank you to everyone who has already ordered one and supported this project.
There are also three group shoots I’m looking forward to: The Alchemy of Them, Til Death Do Us Part, and House of Indulgence. Each gives me a different creative world to think about and a chance to bring people together around a shared idea.
The Alchemy of Them is part of that continuing work: creating an experience where people can collaborate, step in front of the camera, and contribute to something together. There’s a lot of preparation behind a group shoot, but getting to see everyone bring their own presence to it is something I look forward to.
Til Death Do Us Part takes place October 24, 2026, from 1–4 p.m. Pacific. I’m currently recruiting participants, so if you’ve been wanting to get involved in one of my group photoshoots, this is an opportunity to take a closer look. I’m excited to see the concept come to life through the people who join us and the images we create together.
One photographer spot and two model spots remain.
And then there’s the one I’m especially excited about: House of Indulgence, on February 20, 2027, from 1–5 p.m. Pacific.
The concept is indulgences brought to life and personified. I love imagining how an idea can become a character through clothing, expression, and the way someone carries themselves. That’s what makes this shoot so exciting to plan: the opportunity to give those indulgences a human presence in front of the camera.
I want participants to experience a luxurious photoshoot where they get to dress to the nines and fully enjoy it. Give me the glamour, the thoughtful outfit, the details someone is delighted to wear. There is so much creative possibility in giving people permission and a reason to go all out.
I’m recruiting participants for House of Indulgence now, and I’d love for you to explore the event if that concept speaks to you. February may feel a little distant, but I’m already excited about what we can create.
Seven indulgence model spots remain, 2 photographer, and 1 videographer spots remain.
As for what support looks like right now, it’s fairly simple. Check in. Join a stream. Have a conversation with me. Please have some patience with my replies and with the time it may take me to get things done. Booking work is always appreciated, too, whether that means exploring an event or reaching out about a photography session.
I don’t expect anyone to find the perfect thing to say. I don’t have the perfect words for this myself. Connection matters more to me than a carefully constructed response.
This is where I am right now: worried about my children, waiting for more answers, and still finding things I want to make and share. Some days, showing up takes more out of me than others. I’m grateful for the people who make room for that—and who keep showing up alongside me.
